My Dad

I remember the first time we met: you were painting the house we rented from your dad. At lunch time you sat down beside me on the porch and started telling me stories. You were tall and strong with those muscles that looked like baseballs in your arms, a bachelor looking for trouble. You were the one who brought songs to my life with your Harlem Goat and the silly way that you would drawl the words out at the end. But I didn’t like it when you dated my mom: I still prayed for my “real” dad to be with us.

I had lots of fun when you came over as long as you didn’t marry my mother. But I guess you proposed and I started to hate you because you wanted to take the place of my “real” father. The five kids you chose to love were undisciplined and used to being independent, but you took us on the tractor and to feed the cows. You were a good babysitter, but not our dad. You took us to your mom’s for candy and Superman on the TV, because we didn’t have one.

I yelled at you a lot and told you I hated you. I couldn’t let go of the prayers for my dad to come back. But you taught me how to drive your truck with patience and laughter. You let me drive your brand new John Deere tractor on the highway and to the elevator. You taught me how to plow the old-fashioned way on a tractor without a cab. You planted the flowers and trees and taught me to love the farm and open air. You gave us a pony, rabbits and dogs. You took us to Florida for a family honeymoon. We fought about politics: you liked Carter; I liked Reagan. We both loved Kennedy (but maybe not now).

We burned down your shed and then your barn and lived to tell about it. The drought came and you sent us to college. Four out of five of us graduated. Your pockets emptied out. You walked me down the aisle in my fifty dollar dress, but you looked handsome and happy in the ruffled shirt (no complaints).

Mom wanted dad back, too and you waited for her. You said, “She’s really a good woman.” And you loved her when she wandered. I moved away and had kids and didn’t come home much. It was too painful to see the distance between you and my mom. I wrote dear dad in the fathers day cards I started sending to you. I’m glad I apologized for my childish hate, but you acted like you didn’t know what I was talking about.

You withered away and lost your ability to see or walk. Your baseball muscles were gone. But you sent me hand-made cards and a penny every birthday. You and Mom made up and got along the last year of 37. I wanted to take care of you, the dad of my heart, but you wanted to stay in your home where you were born 94 years before. I tried to get you the biggest bouquet to put on your casket. The ribbon on the flowers said “DAD.”

I got a lot of interests from you: love for flowers, writing, politics and rural living. But most of all you taught me to be faithful. I miss you, dad. Thanks for loving me.


The Harlem Goat
Oh there was an old man And he lived in a shack
And he had an old goat Tied in the back
One day that goat Wasn’t feeling fine
Ate three red shirts Right off the line
Old Dick got mad Gave him a whack
And he tied him to The railroad track
The whistle blew The train grew nigh
And that old Harlem Goat Was due to die
He gave three groans Three groans of pain
Coughed up those shirts And flagged the train
But a button got stuck In the middle of his throat
And that was the end Of the Harlem Goat!

Prayer

3 John 1:2 - 4 (ESV) Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you are walking in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Start Suffering the Cross

“With pleasing grief and mournful joy, my spirit now is filled,
That I should such a life destroy, yet live by Him I killed.” John Newton

A recent post on this website (my son’s) talks about a sign on a church that says, “Stop suffering.” (you have to scroll down to the one on transformation). Who do we think that we are? If Christ, as the sinless sacrifice, suffered, why shouldn’t we? It’s only through suffering that we can become like Christ. It’s only after we suffer that we really know joy. Evangelicals today like to downplay the fact that suffering is the means by which we identify with Christ and become like him. This trivilization makes me angry because we are offering a cheap salvation to many. They won't learn that suffering is a means for joy. Christ calls us to suffer. Our suffering will never be close to what Christ suffered.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” Philippians 2:5-9, ESV

Suffer over the fact that you caused Christ’s death. Suffer over the sinful condition of your heart. Start wrestling with the sin that will always be in your heart. Suffer over the seriousness of your sin and the fact that God hates sin. The only reason we are able to approach God is because our sinless savior suffered on the cross. God turned his back on him so that we could face God and live to tell about it.

The pictures we have of Jesus show him as handsome and good-looking, but that‘s not how the Bible portrays him:

Isaiah 53:2 - 5 (ESV) For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

In Evil Long I Took Delight
By John Newton

"In evil long I took delight,
Unawed by shame or fear,
Till a new object struck my sight,
And stopped my wild career.

I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agony and blood,
Who fixed His languid eyes on me,
As near His cross I stood.

Sure, never to my latest breath,
Can I forget that look;
It seemed to charge me with His death,
Though not a word He spoke.

My conscience felt and owned the guilt,
And plunged me in despair,
I saw my sins His blood had spilt,
And helped to nail Him there.

A second look He gave,
which said,“I freely all forgive;
This blood is for thy ransom paid;
I die that thou mayst live.”

Thus, while His death my sin displays
In all its blackest hue,
Such is the mystery of grace,
It seals my pardon too.

With pleasing grief and mournful joy,
My spirit now is filled,
That I should such a life destroy,
Yet live by Him I killed. "

Suffer and then rejoice that someone else took your punishment:

1 Corinthians 15:3 - 4 (ESV) For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.

Rejoice that after you suffer and overcome this life by the strength of God, you will have a name that only you and God will know:

Revelation 2:17 (ESV) "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it. "

Rejoice for no other reason than that you will live with God for eternity:

Luke 10:20 (ESV) "Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Quotes on the cross

John Newton’s life and hymns

Be Gone Unbelief (the midi music is a little tacky, but the words are all there)

Sovereign Grace Ministries: A good resource for living a cross-centered life.

Cross-centered Music downloadable by song and free sheet music. The Look is Newton's song redone a little.

Detailed expositions on suffering with John Piper

Leaping Locusts and Shouts of Joy

Job 39:20 (ESV) “Do you make him leap like the locust? His majestic snorting is terrifying.”

Last weekend I read someone’s copy of the February 16th issue of the Economist. The article entitled “How Life Got Going. Maybe” talks about the components of the first cell. According to this article, which I can’t view online without a subscription, one of the highly probable components being considered is clay. Of course, God says that he created us from the dust of the earth in Genesis 2:7

Genesis 2:7 (ESV) “then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. “

I’m disappointed lately in movement to push the theory of evolution as proven fact. When I was in school we learned that it was a theory not a proven fact. At that time we all laughed at the idea that all living organisms originated from a single cell. Logically it seemed impossible.
We also learned that theories are derived from various lines of research that appear to go together. The PBS website on evolution states that “a scientific theory stands until proven wrong- it is never proven correct.” It seems like it ought to be the other way around.

In the animal books that I’m reading to my grandson I’m finding that the opposite is taught. Evolution is taught as fact not as theory. I have no qualms against teaching the theory of evolution; what I really resent is that it permeates the field of biology as fact.

If science is fact why does the purported age of the universe vary from 7-20 billion years. That’s a huge difference and hardly one that could be considered fact. The time that it took for us to evolve is supposed to be 5-8 million years. Again, if this is scientific fact why can’t the time be more exact?

For more information see the following:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/faq/
http://newton.nap.edu/books/0309064066/html/6.html

I’m not qualified to give a scientific opinion, but I know by looking at my dog, my cat and myself that we could not possibly come from the same cell. It’s just not logical.

The sites on creation have wonderful facts about the intricate designs of each kind of species and all of their explanations for how we and our world came to be. Check out www.creationresearch.org and www.icr.org
A good article on geckos and ocean sponges: http://www.icr.org/index.php?module=articles&action=view&ID=2594
And one on bees: http://www.icr.org/index.php?module=articles&action=view&ID=2608

This National Acamadies site states that science has not disproved creation.

My faith in science has been diminished by so called discoveries in health science. If we can’t pin down health issues for human, how in the world could we discover how it all began? I remember when butter was considered an evil according to science and we all started using margarine. Now we have been told that margarine is dangerous to our health and butter is good again. Estrogen therapy used to be scientifically proven to prevent osteoporosis. Now we’ve found out that it has no effect. The latest research on weight is saying that it’s ok to be a little overweight. In fact, a little fat may be healthy.

Science is too much like the world: changing with the times and culture. While God and His Word stands the test of time and always provides wisdom appropriate for living:

2 Peter 1:5 - 8 (ESV) “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The fact is, in regard to evolution vs. creation, I don’t want everything to be reduced to facts. I like the awe that creation inspires towards a God who is so big that we can’t understand Him no matter how many tests we run or how many facts we learn. He is big enough and awe-inspiring enough to keep us busy for eternity trying to figure him out. Whenever I study creation I come away in worship of the God who took the effort to make everything so different and intricate that I will never be able to learn about it all.

If we reduce everything to a big bang and a single cell we have no one to worship.

Isaiah 55:8 - 9 (ESV) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Job 37:22 - 24 (ESV) “Out of the north comes golden splendor; God is clothed with awesome majesty. The Almighty—we cannot find him; he is great in power; justice and abundant righteousness he will not violate. Therefore men fear him; he does not regard any who are wise in their own conceit.”

Job 38:1 - 7 (ESV) “Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"

Light and What if’s

A few weeks ago I was watching my grandsons and had planned on bringing the 4 year-old back home with me. The drive is an hour long, my husband was far away in Paraguay and it was supposed to be the coldest night of the winter. I really didn’t feel like driving, but I didn’t want to disappoint my grandson. So I asked him if we should stay at his house and leave in the morning. He looked at me and said, “Grandma, Jesus is a light for our path and a lamp to our feet.” There was nothing I could do but drive my innocent, trusting little grandson to my house in the cold, dark night.

This little guy reminds me how important it is to be brave for him and teach him to trust. Especially because my family has four generations that has battled fear of the world. I remember getting home with my mom at night and we had to sit in the car and look over that house to make sure there were no burglars around before we went inside. Even last week my mom said she doesn’t take walks because she’s afraid that someone will come into her house while she’s outside. I struggle with these same thoughts.

Before I left town last weekend I cut up all my passwords and hid my credit cards. I have a dog for the most part because I’m afraid to be by myself when my husband is out of town.
I was a little scared to drive my mom and a dog I didn’t know all the way across two states (a twelve hour drive). In fact I almost panicked the morning we were going to leave. The what if’s starting ruining the trip: what if my mom stops breathing on the trip. She’s 82 and I don’t know a thing about CPR. What if the dog jumps out of the car and won’t come back. What if we have an accident and the dog and my mom die or ME?

But the truth returned to my thoughts. Scary things can happen, but God is always with me lighting the way and guiding my path. If I gave in to the panic I would have missed out on a beautiful, grace-filled trip: one I will remember all of my life because I saw my son love my mom in a gentle, kind way. I learned a lot about patience watching him with her as she does everything so slowly now. God was speaking to be everywhere that weekend about so many things: slow down, enjoy my aging quirky mom, keep working with my own church to bring Christ-centered worship there. I saw the fire in my son’s heart to do something good and rewarding. I saw again how God answered my prayers long ago to put my son in a truthful place. But above all I know that I am blessed beyond expression in this life that God has given to me.

"But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13:3 ESV