Long Distance Mother

I have never adjusted to the distance of miles between me and my kids. The older I get the more I want to live where my children live. It's just as much fun and there is just as much joy in being a mom to adults as there is to little children. It's almost like being friends. No matter how old your children get there will never be anyone who loves them like mom.

When I call my mom she says hi, sweetie, and I used to think it was corny. But now I'm starting to understand that to a mom, a child will always be like the little kid she comforted. The desire to take away the hurts never goes away. And it doesn't get any easier because older hurts are usually more serious. But there's always this tug of war on knowing how much to be involved in an adult child's life.

When my grandson was tested for a blood disease I wanted to be right there with them so I had to talk myself out of butting into the situation. After all it was only a test and it probably would be negative. It was hard to go to work and wonder all day long what was going on.

When my daughter gets sick and has two little ones I want to drop everything and help her out. But I have a job and responsibilities here. My heart will always be drawn to taking care of her. I don't always know what to do.

When my son talks about his neighborhood and his dreams for it I want to be there in person to cheer him on and to invest in it myself. It's just not the same over the phone.

And then when they come home to visit you have to cook and get reaquainted and it seems when you just settle down to talk it's time for them to leave.

I know that you are supposed to let go of your children and give them the distance to grown up. Although in the Old Testament grandmas and grandpas and moms and dads and children all lived together. Imagine the lack of separateness when you're living in tents. I suppose you could put some distance between the tents.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, has always been my favorite mother. After the angel of the Lord explained how she would give birth to the Son of God, she said, "Behold, I am a servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." Luke 1:38 ESV. The Magnifat is a beautiful hymn praising God: "My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant."

Mary knew what it was like to let go of her Son and the frustration of seeing him go on to other things that didn't include her. When he wandered off and came back she said, "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress." But she struggled with it and learned to treasure what he was doing in her heart according to Luke 2:51, "And Mary treasured up all these things in her heart." Surely, she realized that some day she would have to let go of her son.

The movie, "The Passion of the Christ," showed Mary's suffering and how she followed her son every step of the way to the cross. In Luke 2:35, Simeon describes this day for Mary: "a sword will pierce through your own soul, also." I can't imagine what that kind of suffering would be like. I am blessed to have two children passionate on serving Christ where they are, but for the most part they live in relative safety and will never have to die for their faith.

Nevertheless, it is challenging to have your children in ministry and not knowing where they might go next or how far away they might live. Before they were born I gave them to God becasue Hannah is my other favorite mother who said "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:27 ESV.

That is my comfort, that my children, wherever they go, whatever they do, they will always be in the Lord's care. He is more than enough for them.

You would think that when the Son of God was dying on the cross for the sins of the world that He would be thinking of big things, but Jesus shows how fully he entered into our world when he recognized his mother on the cross. When God turned his back on Jesus, when he was dying for me, he remembered his mother and made sure that someone took care of her.

In John 19:25-27 ESV, Jesus says, "Woman, behold your son." Then, he said to John, "Behold, your mother." He was entrusting his mother to his dearest friend so that she would have someone to take care of her for the rest of her life.

Mary also shows courage and stamina in this story as she "stands by the cross." Matthew Henry says, "We may justly admire the power of divine grace in supporting these women. See here the tender affection of these pious women. When all his disciples, except John, had forsaken him, they continued their attendance on him. They were not deterred by the fury of the enemy nor the horror of the sight; they could not rescue him nor relieve him, yet they attend him. We may easily suppose what an affliction it was to these poor women to see him thus abused, especially to the blessed mother...his torments were her tortures, and her heart bled with his wounds. We may justly admire the power of divine grace in supporting these women. We do not find his mother wringing her hands or making an outcry, but standing near the cross, her friends with her. "

With Mary and Hannah as godly examples, I know that whatever distance God puts between me and my children, "his grace is sufficient" and his plan is sovereign and good. Not only that, he knows that it is not easy for mothers to be away from their children. In today's criticism of Christ and the false doctrines rising up to challenge his perfect life, these stories help me to love him and admire him as fully human and fully divine, One who enters into our lives in understanding and compassion.

"Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our trangressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53 ESV

Surely, this prophecy was one of the treasures in Mary's heart that comforted her while she stood by the cross. As our children bear their crosses, as insignificant as they may be, may God's grace give us as mothers the wisdom and strength we need to stand by as Mary did.